You would think being a female I would have the sick obsession that most women have with shoes, except I don't. Give me a pair of timberlands or nike uptowns and I'm the happiest woman around. Let me roam the street in Jeans, Timbos and you have yourself a happy camper! Yes, because I am a girl, I have caved on more then one occasion and bought several pairs of shoes that aren't my norm. They have always been my style and match my personality, but definitely not my norm.

Ever since I turned 30 I have jumped on the new kick of wanting to look my age, although I'm not quite sure what that "look" is. I have since gotten rid of almost all my old sneakers (replaced w/new ones) and have been on the hunt to find shoes in the 3 colors I wear the most; Black, brown and red. These are the 3 colors shoes that I can work into every outfit. These are the 3 colors that for any regular female are a staple in foot wear, except I'm everything but regular. My want for these shoes aren't "just because", they each serve a purpose. I have endless amounts of purses (Ok-so I'm not that irregular either) and can match each of these shoes with every bag I own. Now, while that is true that's not the reason I want these shoes. I want them becasue I feel at the age of 30 I should HAVE them! I should know how, where and when to use them and I sure as hell should know how to walk in them!!

My boyfriend often accuses me of being a typical female and shopping like one, I totally disagree. I know what I want before even stepping foot into a store. Perfect example-Recently, while out on a shopping excursion with the B/F, I mentioned to my cousin (she was with us) that I wanted a pair of red shoes. Red heels that I could actually walk in, not the ones you see at a strip club. A pair that I could wear to work or to a club, a pair that I could wear with slacks or with jeans. As the boyfriend shopped for sneakers and tried on his new Nikes, I proceeded to the ladies shoe department. No sooner do I begin to make my way up and down the sea of shoes at Macy's Roosevelt Field, when right at one of the tables in the aisles I see them! The are red leather half rise pointy toed heels, with a heel that is about 2 inches high. I looked at my cousin and proclaimed "I FOUND THEM"! The display was a size 6, I attempted to squeeze my size 6 1/2 into it, and did! You could see my little pudgy foot spilling out from all sorts of angles so the 6 was a no go. I asked the sales girl for any other sizes of course the display was the last one in that style. At this point my boyfriend was headed right towards me, so standing on the mile long line was out of the question, on top of the fact that he too was empty handed. He informed me that the sneakers he wanted didn't fit and the size he needed was in Macy's Queens Center. We looked at each other and yelled out "Queens Center here we come!", and I thought I shopped like a girl!

In Queens it was the same ordeal, he hit the men's department I hit the lady's. A sales associate had his shoes to the side, my shoes were no where to be found. We drove home, him with new Nikes in hand and me with Red pumps on the brain. I could not let the sheos get away, so I hit two more Macy's that night. Still in the end I came home short and empty handed. I bought a pair of Nikes, but they weren't my red pumps. However, I'm persistent, and the shoes I wanted were designed by Jessica Simpson (NO, I'm not a fan). That right there makes my life easier. I got to work on Monday, went to the internet, did a search and there they were!! I found them on Nordstroms.com with pages and pages of shoes designed by the ditzy tart. I immediately signed up for an online account with Nords checked for my size and punched in my credit card info so fast I caught a cramp. Five days later my shoes were at home waiting for me, like the good little girls they are. I ripped open the packaging, kicked off my Nikes and shoved my foot in them. Damn! Still too small. A little pissed off at this point I threw the bytches back into the box and went out, screw it I'll deal with them later.

Monday rolled around again and this time I called Customer Service. The bubbly blonde (YES, you can tell over the phone) was ever so chipper and always read to serve. She asked me the problem, I relayed the story and asked for a size 7. Not as bubbly at this point she told me the shoes were sold out, but could search the stores nationally, if I wanted her to do so. As much as I wanted to yell out "What do you think Bytch?" I kept my composure and said "Would you please?". She told me she found one pair out in California, did I want them shipped. Composure be damned, the Brooklynite in me yelled out "Hell Yeah!" She immediately got a sales associate from that location on the line and had him ship out the shoes. He needed to call me back for the credit card information before shipping them out. Allen was very thorough and pleasant. God, I love my fags (YES, you can tell that too).

Last week my size 7, Jessica Simpson, red pointy toed shoes arrived! The next day I wore them to work. I wore them with an outfit that I put together in my head the day I saw the shoes. An outfit that if no one else liked it, I really didn't care; I LIKED IT! Walking around all up and all down I felt like a hot, stylish 30 year old woman! I realized why women had that sick obsession, I realized shoes really DO make the outfit. I also realized that the "look" of a 30 year old is one where your comfortable in your own skin. The look of confidence when you walk into a room and know you belong. The look of a 30 year old is hunting down the perfect pair of shoes and realizing that you need them in every color!